This Valentines you’re finding your one true love, spending absolutely nothing on them and getting $500 for it.


Roses are red, violets are blue, and Valentine's Day is one huge consumerist holiday out to exploit your feelings in exchange for your own money. Charming.

We know that one days worth of teddy bears, roses, chocolates and a sickening customized mug isn’t going to do anything for our relationship. Other than make a dent in joint savings, perhaps.

The corporations though, they have no shame and they know your weak spots – Amazon has been messaging you twice as much. Dominos has made a combo just for you (for $20). And McDonald’s have finally fixed their ice cream machine and reckon you need some.

You’re over it. You deserve more than deceit and a McFlurry.

🌹Like, $500 more 🌹

This Valentines, find your one true love by typing ‘Tell me a love story’ to Cleo.

She’ll take you through a whirlwind romance and you decide your fate – will you find the love of your life and $500, or throw your money at the f*ckboys?

Let's find out.

Tweet your love from the rooftops and share your story with the world (on Instagram) and $500 could be yours.